This issue of our celebrated monthly newsletter has finally arrived. The editors decreed that it was best to sweep the last two months under the rug and forget about the backlog. The nice thing about having no traffic or readers is that there is no one to complain when life gets in the way of intrepid journalism. This month's issue comes late, but not never, proving once again that deadlines are arbitrary. Thank you all for your continued patronage, here's a reward.
Please watch your head. And your eyes. And your mouth. Those little buggers are everywhere. In all seriousness, please consider wearing ear protection, they are quite loud.
Back by popular demand: air conditioning! Our house handyman has risked life and limb to restore previous functionality to our external window units. Our congratulations are extended to him for this impressive feat. May he live forever. For all those who have benefited from this improvement, you're welcome (as are tips).
Just like cicadas, people have been buzzing in and buzzing off over the last month. With summer in full swing and nothing to do, they must find ways to occupy themselves with such thrilling activities as:
among other engrossing passtimes we are sure. Enjoy the calm before the storm of employment.
One of the House Associates recently acquired another best friend. The editors have not been introduced, but by all accounts she is cute. But also annoying, but also really well behaved, it's complicated ok?
Congratulations to the Klines! May their union be eternal and happy.
Upon close inspection, it is possible to discern that certain changes have been made to this publication in terms of styling and format. Don't feel bad if you missed it, it was a subtle transition. These changes have been implemented in light of the editors' newfound fascination with "Suckless Development", which is embodied by light, fast documents with minimal (but not absent!) styling to avoid slow load times. It was also decided that a more professional look was in order. Unfortunately there have been some promised changes which are now on hold indefinately. These features include but are not limited to
The Site Builders appreciate your understanding of the situation and hope this absence will not adversly effect your experience. As always, feedback is appreciated.
There is an auxiliary site currently being developed at this time. It is maintained by the same group as has granted us their skills to maintain this publication, but it is currently not nearly as completed. In future, it will hopefully fill the role of "expanded Résumé" by not only itself being a product of the skills described, but also by giving more elaborate examples of the qualifications of the applicant who holds it. Feel free to visit, the site is live, but be aware that it is very much under construction. For more information visit the Contact page.
Congratulations are in order! After much wait and some worry, a graduated House Affiliate has earned a position at Hydro-Gear in Indianapolis! Doing what is still unclear, but this is a long overdue recognition of his clear skill and ability.
Another House Affiliate has secured temporary work at My It Indy doing IT migration work. Hopefully this will mean writing tools to allow easy data transfer between incompatible OS platforms. Time will tell.
With ambition as long as his hair, our House Affiliate bound for graduate school will be leaving for Knoxville, Tennessee to pursue a career in Research and Development and Paper Grading. The editors expect great yet abstract things from this young man.
In another few days, yet another House Affiliate is project to begin work at the renowned market research company. With the enormous package he recieved by the merits of his academic and demonstrated skills, the Editors are confident that he will do just fine in the world. Good luck and stay in touch amigo.
It is with heavy(er) hearts that the Editing staff must announce that due to increased levels of physical phitness and general activity, average muscle mass has in fact increased in House Affiliates who have undergone regular calisthenics therapy and who have also volunteered survey data. Gainz. By the end of this month, average practitioners are projected to be capable of lifting a finger to do housework.